How to stay safe when you meet someone from the internet

Meeting someone new should feel exciting, not risky. The vast majority of people you meet online are exactly who they say they are, and a little preparation helps keep it that way. This is the short checklist we would give a friend. It works for first dates, and just as well for meeting an online friend in person.

None of it is complicated and none of it means you are being paranoid. It is simply the sensible thing to do.

Before you meet

Talk first, properly

Have at least one voice or video call before meeting in person. It takes ten minutes and tells you a lot: whether the person matches their photos, whether their story holds together and whether you simply enjoy their company. Someone who keeps avoiding a call is giving you information.

Do a quick check

Look for obvious mismatches: a name that does not line up with other profiles, photos that appear on other accounts or a story that keeps changing. A reverse image search on a profile photo is easy and often revealing. You are not investigating them, you are making sure they are who they say they are.

Keep money out of it

Never send money, gift cards, crypto or bank details to someone you have not met in person, whatever the reason and however convincing the story. Romance scams almost always involve a sudden emergency and a request for help. If that happens, stop contact and report it.

Guard your personal details

Keep your home address, workplace, daily routine and financial details private until you really trust someone. Be careful with photos that show your street, your school, your workplace or your car number plate.

Planning the meeting

Choose a public place

Pick a busy, public spot you know: a cafe, a restaurant, a park in daylight. Avoid private homes and quiet locations for a first meeting. A familiar place also means you already know where the exits and the staff are.

Tell a friend

Share who you are meeting, where and when, and send over their name, profile and a photo if you have one. Agree a time to check in afterwards. Some people share their live location with a trusted friend for the duration. It takes thirty seconds and can make you feel much more relaxed.

Arrange your own travel

Get yourself there and back. Accepting a lift from someone you have only just met removes your freedom to leave when you want to. Make sure your phone is charged and you have money for a ride home.

Keep the first meeting short

A coffee or a walk is perfect. You can always make a second plan if it goes well. Having a natural end point makes it easier to leave if it does not.

On the day

Watch your drink and your belongings

Keep your drink in sight and buy it yourself where you can. Do not leave your phone or bag unattended. If you start to feel unusually unwell or dizzy, tell a member of staff or leave and call someone you trust.

Trust your gut

If something feels off, it is allowed to be enough. You do not need a perfect reason and you do not owe anyone an explanation. You can leave, even if the other person is being polite. A person who respects you will respect that.

Watch for pressure

Be wary of anyone who rushes you, ignores a boundary, pushes you to drink more than you want or tries to change the plan to somewhere more private. Good people do not mind moving at your pace.

After the meeting

• Message your friend to say you are safe.
• Be honest with yourself about how you felt. Excited and comfortable are good signs.
• If you are not interested, say so kindly and clearly.
• If anything made you uncomfortable, block them and report it to the platform.

If something goes wrong

If you ever feel in danger, leave and contact your local emergency services right away. If you have been scammed, harassed or threatened, keep screenshots, report the account to the platform and consider reporting to the police. It is never your fault.

One last thing

None of this should put you off meeting people. Most meetings are lovely, and a few sensible habits mean you can enjoy them fully. Read about the standards we are building towards on our safety page, and if you want to be among the first to try NetHitch, pre-register for free.